By Billy Lumm •

11 Things That Got More Votes Than Boris Johnson

In light of Boris Johnson being appointed Prime Minister of the UK on just 92,153 votes, from only 0.13% of the population, we wanted to take a look at some poll winners that actually gained more votes than the new PM.

Here’s our top 11 things that got more votes and – let’s be honest – would probably make a more desirable leader!

11. Little baby Cthulu: 110,099 votes

In 2014, much to his wife Alysha’s dismay, Canadian father-to-be Stephen Mclaughlin set up with the intention of letting the internet name their daughter – fortunately for them, he did add a disclaimer:

“Yeah that is an asterisk, unfortunately internet I know better than to trust you. We will ultimately be making the final decision, alas my daughter shall not be named WackyTaco692. Sorry guys the wife wouldn’t go for a free for all.”

The internet came out in force to vote for H. P. Lovecraft’s cosmic entity, ‘Cthulu’, described as a clawed octopus, dragon, caricature of human form, worshipped by cultists, with the ability to make people lose their minds by visual contact.

The Mclaughlins opted for runner up, Amelia.

10. @PigeonJon: 112,400 followers (at time of writing)

Admittedly this isn’t a vote, but still, 112K people have actively chosen to follow a pigeon named Jon on twitter. Rising to fame for hilarious takes, this spoof account has recently taken aim at members of the establishment, with his most engaging tweet targeting ‘Brexit Bad Boy’ Arron Banks, who tried to divert attention from a twitter user sarcastically claiming his ‘trade expertise and economics credentials must be revered internationally’ by commenting ‘I’m a multi millionaire and you have 37 followers’. @PigeonJon stepped in to remind him ‘I am a Fucking Pigeon with 40,000 more followers than you’. Most recently Jon took aim at Boris Johnson himself, commenting ‘More people follow me than voted for the New Prime Minister. Yep.
And I am a Fucking Pigeon.’

Legend status confirmed.

9. Mister Splashy Pants: 119,367 votes

As part of Greenpeace’s Great Whale Trail Expedition, a campaign in which a humpback whale in the South Pacific Ocean was tracked with a satellite tag to raise awareness of the Japanese Fisheries Agency’s threat to humpback whales, an online poll was set up to decide on the whale’s name. One user found a way to traverse the one-vote system, logging 120 votes per minute for 38 minutes for “Mister Splashy Pants”. While Greenpeace removed the extra votes, the stunt had already attracted attention from the likes of 4chan, reddit and Digg who helped raise Mister Splashy Pants vote share from 5 to 75% in less than a day. Accumulating over 78% of the vote and over 100,000 votes, Mister Splashy Pants nearest rival was Humphrey with just 4,329 votes.

8. RRS Boaty McBoatface: 124,109 votes.

In March 2016, the Natural Environmental Research Council put it to members of the public to name the brand new polar research vessel for the British Antarctic Survey to replace a pair of existing ships. The poll was picked up by various media outlets and in true British fashion, slowly descended into a range of hilarious puns – with RRS Boaty McBoatface coming out on top. Ultimately the NERC would have the final say, opting for 5th place runner up RRS David Attenborough, after naturalist of the same name Sir David Attenborough.

The NERC did not entirely dismiss the poll’s winner and named one of the vessels remotely controlled submersibles Boaty McBoatface.

7. British citizens identifying as Jedis: 177,000

That’s right, more people in the UK declared themselves as Jedis at the last census than actually voted for our Prime Minister.

6. Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf: 230,000 votes.

In 1998, Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, a character on Howard Stern’s radio show benefited from a chain email campaign (!!!), to beat off competition, such as Leonardo DiCaprio at the height of Titanic hysteria and Madonna, to gain over 2 hundred thousand votes and seize the top spot in People Magazine’s Most Beautiful People in The World poll.

5. Rory Fitzpatrick: 285,000 votes.

We’ve included this wildcard, despite having a low profile in Great Britain, because it touches somewhat on our expertise!

Despite missing a month of gameplay and just one assist, Vancouver Canucks journeyman Rory Fitzpatrick received 285K votes, elevating him to 3rd place for the 2007-2008 NHL All Stars, after Scott Niedermayer and Nicklas Lidstrom.

22-year-old Steve Schmid of upstate New York campaigned for Fitzpatrick’s All Star Candidacy launching, whilst a Vancouver computer programmer developed a Firefox plug-in he called the “Rory Vote-O-Matic” which let Fitz fans fill out ballots automatically.

4. Bieber Tour in North Korea: 650,000 votes.

An online poll set up to decide the final destination for Justin Bieber’s My World tour saw hermit state North Korea receive 650,000 votes, climbing from 24th position to the top spot in a matter of days! For obvious reasons, Biebs didn’t take his tour to North Korea.

3. Never Gonna Give You Up: over 5 million votes.

In 2008, the New York Mets’ marketing dept, put the team’s eighth inning song to the fans. Maybe not so unexpectedly, the poll took place during the height of internet phenomenon ‘Rick Rolling’ and lo and behold, Rick Astley’s ‘80s hit received over 5million votes – more than 100 times the capacity of the Shea Stadium!

2. Moot: 12,939,521 votes.

Time Magazine’s Time 100 Peoples Poll 2009 was hijacked and moot AKA 21-year-old Christopher Poole, the founder of notorious bulletin board and home to hackers 4chan was thrust into number 1! Not only that, but the top 20 spots were manipulated so that the first letters, read vertically spelled out “Marblecake also the game” in reference to 4chan chatroom where Project Chanology, their war against Scientology, was born.

1. Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up (again): 100,000,000 votes.

In the wake of the Rick Rolling trend, at 2008’s MTV Europe Awards, Rick Astley took home the award for ‘Best Act Ever!’. He received more votes than all the other nominations combined – which included U2, The Beatles and many more. ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ has now accumulated more than 500 million views on youtube!

Based on the above evidence, we think it’s only fair Rick Astley assumes the position of Prime Minister at his earliest convenience.